Are you an over-thinker too?

How often do you find yourself thinking about a certain situation excessively or getting obsessed with it until you get so exhausted that you have to force yourself to not think about it? Well, I know most of you might say, quite often. This happens because we might feel like thinking about it will give us some control over the situation and we might be able to get some solution out of it. In most cases, it does not happen like that because one 10% negative thought leads to other 80% negative thoughts because of self doubt, overgeneralising the problem and disqualifying the positives. 

Let's take an example here- Imagine your boyfriend did not pick up your call. All the thoughts you might start to get: Is he avoiding me? Is he cheating on me? He never picks up my calls, Does he thinks I am annoying? Am I bothering him too much? May be he wants to break up and he cannot say that, so he started avoiding me. Should I break up before he does? and so on.. 

Well, there could be a possibility that he is busy or may be his phone is on silent? May be he will call you back as soon as he can. May be he is not avoiding you and definitely not wants to break up with you? 

As every story has two sides. Similarly, everything has two aspects positive and negative. It depends on you, which one you wants to focus on. 

I know what you might think now. It's not easy to focus on positive. Totally agreed. 

But you know why? 

Because we humans are wired this way. We tend to focus on negative than on positive because our brains are focused on only ONE thing and that is SURVIVAL. It always focuses on alerting us of the possible danger around. And from danger, I do not mean only physical harm but also emotional harm. If your brain perceives that there is a slightest risk of you getting hurt, experiencing unpleasant feelings or any kind of negative emotions, it will alert you. 

Now Alert me? How? Yes, by making you over think about it, so that you can either get mentally prepared of something that might have only 1% chance of happening or you could think of some solution to turn that situation around, in case that 1% actually happens. 

So you obviously opt the second option and start to view that situation from all possible angels and make fake scenarios and think about possible solutions that you could have said/done or can say/do in case it happens again. 

Why not choose option one and mentally prepare yourself for the danger that might could happen. why not tell yourself- "See this could happen, the possibility of it happening is there but the probability is low. But in case it does, I know you will overcome it." When you tell your mind that the probability of a particular thing happening is low, you automatically convinces it that there is no danger around and as a result it will stop alerting you. 

I know it's not easy but not that difficult either. Why not give it a try?